My Suicide
by Shuichichans
Summary: Shuichi is finally engaged, but the distrant death of his lover comes as a shock to him. Read the Prolouge.
1. Prolouge

I do not own Gravitation.  
  
Prologue  
  
'We have reports of either a suicidal, or homicidal attempt on a local novelist.' A news reporter blurted on the TV.  
  
Shuichi looked up from his magazine, toward the TV. A local novelist? Well, that was something new. "Hm..." He shrugged, and looked back down at Hiro's magazine, scanning down the columns of the local gossip. He reached toward the table in front of him, and slid on a pair of headphones, turning the music all the way up. He smiled, finding something funny under one of the subjects. He always found something interesting at Hiro's house. Hiro sat beside Shuichi on the couch, interested in this new 'murder' case. "A novelist?"  
  
The TV's lights continued to flash, images of a greyish room currently being shown. The woman's voice chimed in again. 'The body of this famous writer, Yuki Eiri, was found in his own bedroom, shot to death in the head. The medics say that when he was found, he was already dead, probubly dead on impact.'  
  
Hiro's eyes widened, and he looked at Shuichi, who was tuned in completly to the magazine, smiling. His own fiancee had won the Writer of the Year award, a new award that had been issued only this year. He was proud of Yuki. Shuichi felt a light tap on his shoulder, and looked up from his magazine at Hiro, who's eyes were forlorn. Shuichi blinked, and slid off one side of his headphones. "What's wrong, Hiro?"  
  
Hiro's head slowly turned toward the TV, the reporter had moved on to another subject. Shuichi slid the other side down, and pushed the off button on his CD player. "Hiro?" He closed the magazine, and set it down. He felt something wrong now.  
  
Hiro cut off the TV, standing. "Shuichi..." He looked down at the singer, who was staring unknowningly up at him. He looked down at the ground. "..I know where Yuki is."  
  
Shuichi's eyes brightened. Yuki hadn't told him where he was going to go when he had told Shuichi to go to Hiro's for a few hours. Yuki said it would be a surprise. "Where? Wait. I'm not supposed to know. Don't tell me, it's going to be a surprise!" Shuichi blurted, a little bit of curiousity in his voice. Hiro closed his eyes. How naive could one person be? "It's a surprise alright.." He said, walking toward the window. He didn't want to see Shuichi's face when he told him. "You don't want to know, then?"  
  
Shuichi let out a groan. "Yeah, I wanna know! And, I want to know why he told you, and not me!" He said, standing. "So, let it out!"  
  
Hiro sighed. "I was watching the news. Yuki... Yuki Eiri, the man you are to marry next week... Is.."  
  
Shuichi blinked, and blurted, "Tell me!"  
  
"Yuki Eiri... Is dead."  
  
---  
  
Just tell me if you want to read the story, I'm working on the first chapter. Remember, this is only the prologue! 


	2. Chapter 1: Oblivious

[Title: My Suicide]  
  
[Written by: Shuichichans]  
  
[Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.]  
  
[Chapter 1: Oblivious]  
  
"Yuki-kunn!!!" An obnoxious voice rang through the apartment of Yuki Eiri, a famous man in Japan for his romance books. "Yuki-kun, where are you?" A pink haired boy, about the age of 21, closed the front door behind him. Everyday at five o'clock or so, Shuichi would bound in, seeing Yuki on the couch, smoking, or maybe in his office, writing. Shuichi's huge blue eyes blinked as he scanned the living room. "He's not in here.." He groaned out, and took off his jacket. He loved it when Yuki was waiting for him, it made him feel special, and wanted. Plus, when he wasn't waiting, he was usually in a bad mood.  
  
Shuichi sat down on the couch after laying his jacket on the coat rack, taking off his shoes. He left them by the couch, and got up, going on his search for the blonde. He glanced in the kitchen, making sure he wouldn't miss him. He continued down the hall, stopping for a brief moment to look at a picture on the wall. It showed Yuki and Shuichi, the day after Yuki had previously proposed to him. Shuichi was hanging off Yuki's arm, grinning like a child that had just gotten ice cream for the first time, and loved it. Yuki's head was tilted slightly to the right, smiling at Shuichi, something he only did on occasions. He smiled, and lifted his hand to look down at the golden ring on his right ring finger. It shimered, even in the dim light in the hallway. Shuichi lowered his hand, remembering that he still had to find his Yuki, and nothing could come before that! He traveled farther down the hall, seeing the door to Yuki's study ajar just slightly. He could hear the sound of frantic typing from the room, and smiled. He was home!  
  
Shuichi came closer to the door, gazing in. He smiled, seeing the face of his love covered by the glow of the laptop screen. He slowly opened the door, preventing any noise to be made as he slipped into the room. He knew that when Yuki got drowned out into his work, he would have to be pried out. He lowered himself to the floor, crawling toward the desk where the laptop lay. He noticed that the typing had stopped, and frantic clicking noises rose from the mouse. Shuichi concluded that he was saving his novel onto his computer, as he always did. He crawled around, until he was behind Yuki. He stood up slowly, going to hug Yuki around the neck, but he saw something. He saw something on the screen that read 'Suicide Letter.' at the top. He blinked slowly, and began to read it slowly, hoping that this was just something apart of Yuki's new book.  
  
'This is my suicide letter. I am giving up on life, I can't stand it anymore. This day to day routine is killing me, and it's got to stop. I've tried a lot of other ways to get over this depression of mine. I've even tried to make myself happy by proposing to Shuichi..'  
  
Shuichi's eyes widened when he saw his name on the document. "...Yu...ki?" He said, his voice shaking slightly. He couldn't bring himself to read any farther. Yuki jumped, and turned sharply to look back at Shuichi. "Shuichi, how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that?" He said, a slight glare in his eyes. It disappeared completely when he saw the look on Shuichi's face. Fear. Pure fear. "Shuichi, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
Shuichi looked from him to the screen. "A suicide letter? Yuki, are you planning to kill yourself?" He said, frantically. Yuki turned, and looked at the screen. He scanned it, then looked at Shuichi. "Shuichi, what are you talking about? This is for my new novel. Do you really think that I would... Kill myself?" Shuichi's eyebrows knitted together. "Then why is my name in there?" He asked, keeping himself from crying. Yuki sighed, closing the window, and saving the document to a disk. "I used your name in this book, Shuichi." He said, trying to sound as normal as possible. He had, indeed, been planning for this letter, but he hadn't wanted Shuichi to see it. At least, not this soon. "You're apart of my novel."  
  
Shuichi blinked, and grinned. "Really? I'm a part of your story?" He said, excitement covering up the fear that pained his heart. Yuki nodded in reassurence. "Yes, but you are not with me in this one, Shuichi." He said, wheeling back in his chair, causing Shuichi to move back in response. He stood, shutting down his laptop. Shuichi blinked up at him. "I'm not with you? Why? Is it just my name in there, or is it actually me? Is it? Is it?" He asked quickly, excited. Yuki groaned. "It's you, Shuichi." He said, walking toward the door of the office. Shuichi could be so annoying sometimes.  
  
Shuichi pushed in Yuki's chair, and ran at Yuki. He lept, making contact with Yuki's back. Yuki stumbled forward as Shuichi wrapped his arms and legs around Yuki's neck and waist. Yuki looked back at him, just in time for Shuichi's lips to make contact with Yuki's ear. Yuki tensed greatly, the hair on the back of his neck standing. He was frozen. Shuichi smirked, having the beast under control, so to say. "I've got you now, Yuki- kun!" He laughed, letting the tip of his tongue slip through his mouth and touch the back of Yuki's ear. This only made Yuki's hair stand up more, and his muscles tensen more so. Shuichi let go, slidding off Yuki's back. "Heh heh. I got you. Again!" He put his left hand on his hip, and his right to his eye, pulling down his lower lid. He stuck out his tongue as Yuki turned to him, an angry look in his eyes. "Shuichi..." He said slowly, his eye twitching. "When I catch you, I'm going to throw you out the window!" Shuichi laughed at this remark, and took off down the hallway, his lover bounding after him, grinning wildly.  
  
-----  
  
Yes, I know that was a pretty bad ending to a chapter, but oh well!! Thanks for your reviews of the prologue, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. I'm off to work on the second one now. 


	3. Chapter 2: Preperation

[Title: My Suicide]  
  
[Written by: Shuichichans]  
  
[Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, Kikaru, Utada's music or Kingdom Hearts.]  
  
[Notes- = Thoughts]  
  
[Chapter 2: Preparation]  
  
It had been a week since Shuichi had first seen the 'Suicide Letter' on Yuki's laptop, and his mind had often drifted back to it. Was it really apart of Yuki's new novel, and more important, was Shuichi actually going to be in the novel? Why wasn't he going to be with Yuki in it?  
  
Shuichi snapped back into reality as the stereo system blared out the lyrics to 'Simple and Clean.' He blinked, taking hold of his Playstation controller. He looked toward the screen, seeing Sora, from Kingdom Hearts, falling from the sky. He had gotten the game the day before, but hadn't had a chance to play it. He leaned back against the couch, he had been sitting on the floor. He blinked slowly, sighing. He drifted in thoughts, unable to pay attention to the game. /I wonder what Yuki is doing. He's been locked in his study for two days, and only left to eat and use the bathroom./ He thought, dropping the controller. /Should I try and get him out? Or would that be wrong? I think that would be invading his privacy. But I always do that./ He blinked, and stood, walking over to his Playstation2 console, and switched it off. He turned the TV off, and went toward the kitchen. He was thirsty, and wanted to get something to snack on. He pulled out a Pepsi and a bag of Oreos, and sat on the counter. He opened the can, drinking some. He sat it down, looking at the floor.  
  
--  
  
Yuki typed away in on his laptop, trying to finish the fifteenth chapter of his latest novel. He called it 'Leaving,' since it was about the suicide of one of the main characters. He stopped typing for a moment, and scanned the lines with his eyes, checking for errors, and making sure he didn't need to add or change anything. He let out a groan, changing a word. The constant flicker of the cursor was beginning to mesmerize him. He shook his head, and stood. He glanced at the clock, and his eyes widened.  
  
--  
  
Shuichi's head snapped up at the yell of 'Three fourty-nine.' He got down off the counter, and jogged toward Yuki's study, seeing the door open. He came to a stop, amazed that Yuki had finally emerged. "Yuki!" The blonde came out, looking at Shuichi. "What day is it?" He asked, interupting Shuichi's glomping session. Shuichi blinked, and said, "It's Tuesday.." Yuki groaned, and quickly moved past Shuichi, toward the living room. Shuichi looked back at him. "Yuki, where are you going?" He said, turning, and moving after him. "Yuki?" He said again, after receiving no answer.  
  
Yuki looked back at him once he entered the living room. "Get ready to go, we have to be somewhere." He said, slipping on his shoes, and taking his jacket from their coat rack. Shuichi cocked his head to the side, and went to the couch, slipping on his red sneakers. "Okay, but where?" He took his orange hoody off the rack, putting it on. Yuki looked toward him briefly, before picking up his keys off the table. "We have to set up the date for the wedding." He said, smiling, something he didn't do often. Shuichi couldn't help but smile back, following the blonde out the front door.  
  
"How long do you think it will take, Yuki-kun?" Shuichi inquired, sitting in the passenger's seat of the Mersedes. Yuki glanced into his door mirror, and glided into the left lane. "Not long." He said simply, blinking beneath his dark shaded sunglasses. Shuichi simply nodded, getting the feeling that Yuki was in a bad mood. He hated when that happened; They usually got into a fight, or they didn't talk for at least a day. Shuichi turned his head to the right, resting his hand on his elbow, his elbow on the arm rest. He gazed out the window, watching as crowds of people moved down Tokyo's sidewalks. He sighed lightly. "I can't wait." He suddenly said, breaking the long silence that had seemed to settle between the too. Yuki came to a stop at a red light. "What can't you wait for, Shuichi?" He said, blankly. He seemed to have other things on his mind. Shuichi turned his head to the left, and grinned at Yuki. "The wedding! Duh..! Don't tell me you forgot." He whimpered childishly. Yuki rolled his eyes under his shaded, and pulled into a parking lot. He parked the Mersedes in front of a mildly huge building, and stepped out of the car. Shuichi followed suite. "Well, here we are." Yuki said blankly, and closed the door, walking toward the building. He could feel Shuichi hot on his heels. He opened the door, and slipped inside.  
  
"Wow!" Shuichi spun in the open area. "This place is beautiful!" He smiled, looking up at the large, crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the golden room. Small decorative trees lined the walls, in alignment with soft couches. The pink haired one grinned. "Awesome!" He ran, and jumped onto a couch, grinning. Yuki raised an eyebrow, and rolled his eyes, going to the large counter.  
  
"Yes, may I help you?" The secretary asked the blonde, her brown hair pulled back in a bun. She smiled shyly at Yuki. Yuki nodded. "Yes, I'm here to set up a date for a wedding."  
  
"First and last name?" She asked, sliding her chair over to her computer.  
  
"Yuki Eiri." Yuki replied, hearing the gasp from the secretary. He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yuki Eiri?!" She stood up, staring at him. "Oh my gosh!" She leaned toward him, her hands on the table. Yuki leaned back slightly, a distrant look on his face. "Ehh.. Can I please just set the date now?"  
  
Shuichi's blue eyes trailed toward Yuki, and the woman leaning toward him. His eyes narrowed, sparkling with anger and hate. /Yuki.. She's too close../ He got up from the couch, his sneakers squeaking against the floor. He made his way stealthfully over to the counter, popping up beside Yuki. He glared death at the woman, whom noticed right away.  
  
She went back to her computer, and typed in the writer's name. "We have an opening two months from now, Wednesday, July 23. Would you like to schedule it then?" Yuki gave a small nod, then looked down at the pink haired boy binded to his arm. The woman nodded, and stood. "Then there you go. Can I have your autograph? Please?" She asked expectently. Yuki's eye twitched, and he turned away from her, moving back through the large room, the attached Shuichi following along side him.  
  
Shuichi felt a surge of happiness run through him. They were getting married in two months! He had never been so happy, and he couldn't wait for that day to come. He'd never know what hell those next two months would be...  
  
[See you next time]  
  
---  
  
Okay, chapter two is FINALLY done. Sorry for making you wait xX 


	4. Chapter 3: Uncertainty

Chapter 3: Uncertainty

Disclaimers: I do not own Gravitation, or Newports.

Notes/ - Thoughts  
- Phone conversation from another person.  
Sorry it's taken so long to update. But here it is, Chapter three.

---  
---

Yuki stood under the shadows of a tree. It was almost 8:30 that night, but the moon was shining brightly. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. He looked to his right, lowering the Newport from his lips. He exhaled, and leaned against the tree. He had so much on his mind. Only the week before had he set the date for their wedding. It was only a month and two weeks away. What kind of tuxedo would he wear? What would Shuichi be wearing? What flavor would the cake be? Would there even be cake? Who would he invite? Would he have a private wedding? He shook his head, and puffed the cigerette one last time, letting it drop to the ground. He snuffed it out with the toe of his shoe. Shuichi would wonder where he was if he didn't go inside soon, but he didn't care. /What's going on in my mind. It's hard to think straight thoughts./ He coughed, walking up the golden stairs toward his apartment.

---  
"Hiro, have you seen Yuki anywhere?" Shuichi asked, on the phone with his friend. He let his feet dangle off the side of the couch, rotating his feet back and forth.

I'm sorry, Shuichi. I haven't.

"You haven't? I can't find him. He's been gone for a few hours now. I'm getting really worried about him. I found a gun underneath his bed last night. Do you really think it's for protection?" His eyes widened. "What if he's planning on killing me!"

Come on, don't be stupid. I really don't think this guy would hurt you. If he does, I'll take his head.

"You don't have to be so protective of me," Shuichi whined. "I can take care of myself. Anyhow, I'm going to go look for him, alright? I'll see you at work tomorrow." He hung up the phone, and sat up. He looked at the clock. It was 9:10. /Where are you, Yuki?"/ He slipped on his shoes, and went to the front door. As he was about to reach for the handle, it turned, and the door swinged open. It contacted with his forehead, and he stumbled back. "Ouch!" He held his forehead, looking up to see a strange man in the doorway. "W-who are you!"

The man smirked. "Are you Shindou? The one who is to be wed to Eiri?" He stepped in the door, and closed it behind him. He stood in front of it.

"..Yes... Yes, I am. But you never answered my question! I don't know you! Get out of my apartment!" Shuichi yelled, trying to be as stern as he was. He was scared; This man was huge. He had a scruffy black beard with beady eyes, and a bald head. He looked like trash. His clothes were ripped, and he carried keys in his hand. They were Yuki's keys. Shuichi gasped. "What did you do to Yuki!" He sneered.

"Yuki? I did nothing to him. But I found his keys. And here I am. I've been waiting since the first news report about you two; I don't take kindly to gay marrage." The man laughed. "So, I'm going to end this little faget concert here." He slid the keys in his pocket. "For good."

Shuichi stepped back as the man stepped forward. He didn't know what to do, and his eyes began to tear. "You have no right to do this!" He gasped out of anxioty. The gun. The gun was under Yuki's bed. "I won't let you hurt him!" He turned, and dashed down the hallway toward the bedroom.

The man snarled and was fast after him. "Don't think you can get away! It's a 5-story drop from every window!" He let out a low hiccup of a laugh. "You're dead!" He pulled a switchblade from his coat pocket as he turned the corner. "You're de--"

The man was cut short. Choppy words escaped from his mouth as he fell to his knees. His hand clutched his chest, and his other dropped the knife. He braced himself on the floor of the apartment. Shuichi stood, gun still faced at the man. Insanity was in his eyes. "I told you," He started. "You won't hurt Yuki."

--  
Yuki stopped as he heard two gun shots come from his apartment, steadly spread apart from one another. It sounded like it was from the top floor. /Shuichi/ He began to run up the stairs, almost sprinting. If he found the boy hurt, he would surely...

He came to the door, which was closed, but it was unlocked. He slowly opened the door, and looked inside. There was no sign of any disturbance.

"Shuichi?" He called.

There was no answer.

"Shuichi! Answer me now!"

Not a sound came from the apartment. Yuki closed the door behind him, and looked around the living room. Shuichi loved to play hide-and-seek with him, just to piss him off. He looked behind the couch, under the chair, and behind the television. Nothing. "Goddammit, Shuichi. Where the hell are you?" He stood, walking into the kitchen. Nothing. The bathroom; Nothing. He turned to walk down the hallway, and stopped. There was a horrible stench, and a man lay in the floor. There was blood and gore spread all over the walls. He wanted to vomit. Shuichi sat at the end of the hallway, the gun on the floor beside him. He had taken the man's head off with the gun. Yuki stepped over the body, and to Shuichi's side he went. He knelt down, taking him by the shoulders. "Shuichi." He shook him. The boy was frozen in shock. "Shuichi?" He pulled the boy close, kissing his head lightly. He was shaking.

An hour later, the police had arrived. They had questioned the both of them on the man's death, and Yuki told them it was out of self-defense. Shuichi wouldn't speak a word. The police took the report, and filed them as suspects, leaving with the body.

Yuki sat with Shuichi on the couch. "Shuichi, please, tell me what happened." He begged, facing the boy. He was trying to be sympathetic, but it didn't seem to be working. Shuichi just stared at the floor, his eyes welled with tears. "Shuichi," Yuki repeated. "Answer me."

Shuichi whispered a few words, but nothing that could be made out. Yuki sighed, and lit a cigerette. There seemed to be no hope in finding out what happened to Shuichi that night. Yuki wouldn't bother him anymore about it for a while.

--  
Shuichi's heart raced. What had he done? He had killed a man. Not hurt him, but killed him. The worst part about it was that he didn't know he did it until it was over. Something had compelled him, and it felt good. Was he going insane? He rested his head on Yuki's shoulder.

"..I'm.. Sorry, Yuki..."


	5. Chapter 4: Premonition

Chapter Three: Premonition

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

---

Sorry it's been so long guys, I've just been busy with school, work, and my fiance. But here is chapter four; I'm going to try and update more often now.

---

Three weeks had passed since the insident with the man. Not much had been spoken about it, but there was still a high level of confusion in there air. Shuichi hadn't been home much; Usually he was out until the early hours of the morning, and hadn't been showing up to work. Tohma was getting very disgruntled.

"Why isn't Shindou here again today?! It's been over a week and a half!" Tohma growled, balling his hands in to fists on his desk. Sakano jumped at his words. "I-I-I don't know, Mr. Seguchi! H-he could be anywhere! Hiro hasn't seen him either!" Sakano backed down, sinking into a chair at the other side of the office. Tohma was infuriated, and he stood, making his way around his desk, and into the empty hallway. Sakano slowly rose, and followed after the blonde male.

Hiro sat in his studio room, silently picking at his Gibson, tuning it by ear. The gentle pricks of sounds almost took away all his worrys, but it was soon cut off as Tohma burst through the door. Suguru was behind Tohma, having an awe struck look in his eyes.

"Where has Shuichi been," Tohma said, in as calm a voice as he could produce. "I'm getting very irritated with him. If I don't see him soon, I will surely have to drop your band from the label."

Hiro stood, setting his guitar down. Tohma was in a very irate mood, and this wasn't going to end quickly. Hiro had enough confrontations on his list as it was. "I haven't seen him. No one has seen him. Not at home, here, anywhere. He's just disappeared off the face of the map. Even Eiri can't find him. He says Shuichi waltzes in, and waltzes right back out, without a word. So, don't come in here, and get in my face."

Tohma sighed. "I'm sorry, Hiro, but Bad Luck's 'Redemption' is due to come out in one month. If you miss that date, millions of fans will be at our front doors, and NG can't take another plunge. We've already lost ASK last month. I'm just warning you- If you turn out to be nothing more than a fall out, I will make sure that you are nothing more." Tohma turned, and left the room, moving around Sakano, and going down the hall to the refreshment room.

Sakano cringed. He could tell this was going to be a very bad afternoon in the NG stronghold. He left for his office, to finish his work for the day so he could possibly leave a little early. He had recently found a girl that would cope with him, and he was very happy with that. He wanted to see her as soon as possible.

Suguru shook his head, and went into the studio room. "Hiro, what's the matter? Is is Shuichi?" He sat on the amp infront of him, not planning on working until he was sure that everything was alright.

Hiro sat on his stool, and pulled the guitar into his lap once more. "I guess. I'm not sure what it is. It's so unlike Shuichi to just up and leave like this, and I can't ever get Yuki to speak a word about it. He acts like he just doesn't care, and I'm sick and tired of it. Shuichi deserves better than some dead beat author that doesn't give two shits about him!" His words became louder, and Suguru cringed. "I bet that's why Shuichi isn't home right now!" Hiro put his palm to his forehead. He was distressed, and he didn't know how to calm himself down. He wanted to see Shuichi, and make sure that he was alright. "I'm going home, Suguru. I can't work today." He stood, practically dropping his guitar into its stand, and walked out, grabbing his jacket and keys on his way. Suguru sighed, and went to his keyboard. He was behind on his work anyway, and he needed to catch up. His mind was racing. This keyboarding act was the only thing keeping him through college. If he were to lose it, he didn't know what he would do. He hoped to God that Shuichi came back soon.

---

Shuichi sat silently in the arrangement of trees beside the city park. What would he do now? He brought his knees to his chin, and bear hugged them close. He was afraid that Yuki would hate him for that man. Or even just for staining the carpet. The only reason he had been home even once in the last week was because he couldn't stay away. His worst fear was losing Yuki. He just didn't understand; He'd probubly just shot Yuki away from him by now. He bet that Yuki had found a new girlfriend somewhere, and had forgotten all about him. He was probubly in bed with a broad right now, as he sat here in the shade. But what could he do? He was too afraid to go back now. He was afraid of finding him there with someone else, or going back and Yuki yelling at him for being away. It was a Lose-Lose situation all the way around.

Shuichi began to think of the last few months. All the good times, and the bad times. Then something struck his brain. What if Yuki had committed suicide while he was gone? The suicide note that he had read on Yuki's laptop. It had said a date and time for the act to be committed. Oh, but what was the date? The date was the 21st, yes, but what was the month? It wasn't January, Yuki never had any tragedys in January. Shuichi had read every one of his books, and he knew better than that. Febuary and March didn't sound right either. He scanned his brain, trying to rethink what he read that day, trying to think of the month in which it had been typed. September, yes, it was September. September 21st at 2:00pm. He shook his head, and laughed at the thought. Today was September 21st, and it was 1:30pm. He felt stress on his brain then. He needed to see Yuki. What if Yuki was gone by now? He scampered to his feet. He needed to find a pay phone. He ran as fast as his legs would take him through the trees, and into the park. There was no phone in the park that he knew of. The closest one was probubly farther in town. He scowled. Why had he left? Why hadn't he thought about Yuki, instead of being selfish? He hoped to God that Yuki was in bed with a broad now, just to avoid him being alone at home, with a gun to his head.

He finally made it into town, and to a phone. He picked it up, and began to dial, but the phone screamed at him to insert twenty-five cents. He snarled, jamming his hands into his pockets, and finally pulling out two dimes and a nickel. He inserted them, and dialed Yuki's cell number. Yuki never turned off his cellphone. It began to ring.

One ring passed.

Shuichi began to breathe harder.

The second ring passed.

Shuichi raked his hand through his hair. Yuki, pick up!

The third ring passed.

Where was he? He should have answered by now! Surely, he would have known who it was!

The fourth ring passed.

Shuichi began gasping, feeling like his knees were jello.

Yuki's voicemail started up. /You have reached Eiri Yuki's cellphone. Leave a message./

Shuichi's stomach dropped. He was too late. Yuki was dead, and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt everything coming up again...

He let go of the phone, and began to vomit on the sidewalk. What would he do now? He would have to go home. He had to know what had happened to Yuki.

---

Yuki sat alone in his room, his laptop open. His gun was placed neatly beside him, and a cigerette hung loosely from his lips. His long fingers typed wildly, revising the words the suicide letter that was in his so called 'new novel.'

"September 21st, 4:00pm.

This is my suicide letter. I am giving up on life, I can't stand it anymore. This day-to-day routine is killing me, and it's got to stop. I've tried a lot of other ways to get over this depression of mine. I've even tried to make myself happy by proposing to Shuichi. But now, none of that seems to matter. My lover has fled from me, of motives I do not know. I have great faith in the fact that I will never see him again. So sorry."

He signed his name to the end of the note. It was now almost 4 pm now. He glanced to his right at the revolver that he had laid beside him. It wasn't loaded. He had removed the bullets from the magazine when Shuichi had had that frontation with the man. He placed his finger tips around it, and lifted it, opening it, and looked to his laptop. He had one bullet lying on his keyboard. He picked it up, and placed in inside. He clicked it shut, and spun the magazine. He sighed, and lifted it to his temple.

"Yuki! Where are you!"

Yuki's eyes widened. Was that Shuichi? No, he was hearing things. He squeezed the trigger slightly.

"Yuki! Please, answer me!"

Yuki closed his eyes. Please, God, let the voice leave him be. All he wanted was peace.

"Yuki-kun!!" Shuichi burst through the door, tears streaming from his eyes.

Yuki jumped, sending the bullet crashing through his skin, skull, and brain.

Shuichi's eyes widened. "Y-yuki?!" He screamed.

Yuki felt everything going dark. "Shu-i..chi.."


	6. Chapter 5: Waiting

Chapter 5: Waiting

(Warning: Explicit language)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

/ - Flashback

---

Laughter...

That's what I want to hear.

His laughter, and his only...

I'm so afriad...

What have I done?

What has he done..

What if I never see him again?

Is this really it...?

Shuichi sat silently in the waiting room, waiting for the news on Yuki. His eyes were smug and swollen from tears shed. He had been there for almost two hours now, just sitting there, waiting. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the gun to Yuki's head, and the bullet bursting through him, his elegant blonde hair flying red with chunks of skull and brain matter. He remembered the Yuki's blood splattering on his face and in his hair. Oh, how long would the wait be? He shook his head, trying to get his head straight as he looked around the emergancy room. There were many faces as forelorn as his own. There were patients in wheelchairs, and most with their families beside them. He watched as a few small children were running around, and their parents were trying to settle them down. Even though noise was all around him, he couldn't hear anything but his own thoughts. He looked down at the floor, and closed his eyes, putting his right hand over them, trying not to show any sign of tears. Why did he run away that day? Why? What compelled him to leave his lover like that, lost, and alone? Yuki's laptop was clearly open with the suicide letter showing on the screen, for anyone who found him to read. He felt stupid. He felt sad, guilty. Nothing more could be done about it now. All he could do was wait.

Shuichi was jolted out of his thoughts by a loud, deep voice, and the cocking of what sounding like to be a gun. He heard people screaming, and scrambling from the room.

"What the hell did you do to Eiri?!" K's voice boomed against the walls of the emergancy room. "How dare you attack Eiri Yuki! What the hell is wrong with you? Have you gone insane!? I'll show you insane!" He placed the end of the barrel against Shuichi's forehead as the boy looked up. Tears streamed from Shuichi's eyes as he stared up at K. "K-K..." He swatted at the gun, his face becoming twisted, and angry. The gun hit the ground. Shuichi bolted up, standing on his toes to seem taller than he really was. K was startled by the outburst. "Why would you accuse me of the death of my own fiance!? What the hell is YOUR problem? Do you think I'm fucking insane?!" Shuichi balled his fist, and swung at K's cheek, but his entire arm was stopped by an iron grip on his wrist. He snarled, and looked at the foreign hand, then up at owner. It was Ryuichi.

"Mr. K, clam down," Ryuichi explained, his voice stern. "Shuichi would never hurt Yuki like that." He looked at Shuichi. "Shuichi, sit down. Don't let Mr. K get to you." He let go of Shuichi's wrist, and the pink haired boy fell back into his seat, and drooped. Ryuichi sat down beside him, and placed his hand on Shuichi's shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

Shuichi looked up at Ryuichi. He felt like he was looking up to a big brother. He slowly sat up. "I'm... Horrible... How could I let this happen?" He placed his hand in his hands, and shook. Ryuichi watched him as he sat there, and couldn't help but feel bad.

"You've got to straighten up. Yuki won't want to see you like this, hun..." Tohma waltzed in, and sat across from them. He looked horrible, and Mika, who was following behind him, looked even worse. He was obviously talking to her. Her make-up ran down her face, and she couldn't seem to sit up straight. Shuichi knew that she had just lost her father, and Yuki was all she had left. Tohma watched Shuichi, with a worried look. "Have you heard anything?"

Shuichi shook his head slowly. "No.. I haven't." He tried to pull a fake smile. "I'm sorry."

Tohma placed his arm around Mika, pulling her close to him, trying to comfort her. "Why are you sorry, Shuichi?"

"For everything. For leaving from work, and for leaving... Yuki.." He looked toward the doorway in which they had rushed Yuki in on the stretcher.

"Please, God, do something!"

The nurses gathered around the stretcher that held Eiri Yuki. His head was in pieces, and it was wrapped together by towels, gauzes, and other devices. They were practically holding him together with it. "He still has a pulse, amazing! Hurry, we have to get him into surgery, immediately!"

"Stablize him!"

"He's not breathing!"

"Oxygen! Oxygen!"

"We need a blood transfusion!"

Shuichi stared helplessly as they took Yuki back. "Yuki... Please be alright..."

"Shuichi..."

"Shuichi...!"

"Shuichi!"

Shuichi jumped at the sound of his name, snapping back into reality. Hiro was kneeling infront of him, shaking his shoulders. "Shuichi, are you in there?" Shuichi looked up at him, and hugged him around the waist. "Hiro, I'm glad you're here!"

"I heard what happened on the news. I think everyone Japan knows by now." Hiro said, patting Shuichi on the head, then pulling away and sitting across from them, with Tohma and Mika. "Do you... Know why?"

Shuichi sat back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. "I... I have no idea."

Four long hours went by in silence, and Shuichi was getting flustered. He wanted a nurse to come out to inform him of life or death. He stood, and walked toward the emergancy desk. He could feel his friends eyes on his back.

"Do you know if Eiri Yuki is in his room yet?" Shuichi asked, placing his palms on the desk.

The attendant looked at him, then to the computer. "Eiri Yuki... Hm... He is in recovery right now."

"R-really?!" A grin built on Shuichi's face. "So he's alive!?"

"Well, sir. Usually if a patent is in recovery, then yes, they are alive. The document says that he will be moved to ICU in about thirty minutes to an hour. It all depends on if he is still stable or not."

"Yippie!"

Mika stood. "When can we see him??"

The attendant looked at her. "As soon as he comes out of recovery, you may go in."

Mika nodded, and began to pace. She was a very impatient woman.

Shuichi clenched his fists in happiness. He couldn't wait to see him! He would tell him how sorry he was, and help him through anything he wanted or needed! He was determined to make Yuki's life as best as possible, now that he could.

---

Sorry for the abrupt ending...

Stay tuned.


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